The Unconscious Yearn for Mediocrity

You might not realise it, in fact, I am willing to bet you don't, but like many of us, you are probably wasting time pursuing and consuming stuff that society has become conditioned to value. From music to clothing, from TV and films to books, from food to holidays, even our choice of friends and partners. What we think we want, and what we actually need (and enjoy) are often quite different.

It all seems quite clear to me now. Call it a very slow epiphany, but I have come to realise that the more mundane and banal things in life can be far more fulfilling than the big, exciting ones. And it's not just me, when I press people and coax some honesty out of them, my theory seems to stand up.

A classic example is TV series. We are addicted to them, the more dramatic and exciting the better. Don't get me wrong, when I happen across a good series I can binge-watch with the best of them. But equally, I can spend evening after evening watching people on YouTube do the most trivial and seemingly dull things. A documentary about lighthouse keepers in the 1970s or an amateur gardener scarifying and aerating his lawn can have me gripped for hours. The difference being that the latter will leave me feeling less exhausted and anxious.

Ask anyone older than forty if they can remember what their favourite long-running TV soap was like when they first started watching it compared to today and they will probably mention the increased intensity. What used to be a bit of gossip in the neighbourhood, which climaxed in a shouting match between two neighbours, has become never ending shouting matches punctuated by a suicide or murder in most episodes. People I speak to say they miss the focus on the more relatable day to day aspects, such as the family structure, the depth of the characters and the struggles of maintaining dignity amidst constant community scrutiny.

When it comes to music, it took me way too long to realise that seeing a local live band up close, with space to move and easy access to the bar, is far more enjoyable than the megaproject of going to see overhyped, overpriced stadium gigs. I'm done paying a fortune and travelling for hours just to see tiny figures on a huge stage from a long distance, and mostly while staring at a big screen. Along with the nightmarish logistics of planning, childcare or pet care arrangements, there are the safety and security risks, including the hygiene horrors of merely going for a wee. No thanks - not until there is another big music scene to rival the mid 1960s or 1990s Britpop, but by then I will probably not want to be doing the equivalent of twisting or moshing with the youth - I will be going to our local pub to see tribute bands, and doing doughnuts on the dancefloor in my mobility scooter.

So, ask yourself honestly: Do I really want to do/watch/eat/drink that, just because someone else suggested it? Or is it merely just a craving that might not fulfil me? And is the cost worth it?

I will cover some more juicy aspects separately, including food choice, people (friends and partners) and sex. Yes, really.